The Greatest Gift

As I was walking down the streets,
A familiar old face appeared unexpectedly,
Among the sea of nameless people.

She was looking through the window of a store,
Her eyes intent on something,
Beyond the piece of glass.

I walked passed her without her noticing me,
And then I stopped suddenly in my footsteps,
The sea of people flowed around me.

I headed back hesitantly,
Until I was right behind her,
And gave her a gentle tap on her shoulder.

With her concentration upon the object of her desire broken,
She turned her head to stare questioningly at me and said,
Who are you ?

She didn't remember the little boy in her class,
But it was hardly her fault,
It was almost ten years ago.

Mister, do I know you ?
She questioned me in that stern tone of hers,
Which I was afraid of and feared when I was a child.

John, you're useless !
John, your music is garbage !
John, you'll never be as good as others !

Sorry to take up your time ma'am,
I have a ticket to the concert but unfortunately I'll be out of town tonight,
Would you like to have it ?

Are you sure, young man ?
I'm sure the ticket is very expensive and he is a very famous violinist,
You wouldn't want to miss the concert.

I have a very urgent matter to attend tonight,
Ma'am, please do me a favour and take the ticket,
It's my pleasure.

May God bless you !
I had always wanted to attend his concert but I couldn't afford to,
Thank you very much.

Go and enjoy yourself tonight,
It's time for me to go,
Take care and thank you Mrs Harris ...

I walked away in a hurry,
While she stood there bewildered,
And I smiled to myself discreetly.

She was my music teacher,
Her harsh words were my motivation to work harder,
So that I could prove to her that she was wrong.

Gifts come in many forms,
Some pretty and beutiful,
Some ugly and painful.

The greatest gift that I had received,
Is the gift that pushed me to succeed,
And I thanked her for what I am now.

Life

Click to enlarge ~ <3

I Hate People

Why the hell does people like to do things that rude ? It pisses me off so much. When you expect something from a person, don't just walk/run off abandoning that person aside without saying anything, not even a small "thank you so much I have to go somewhere goodbye."

When I write a long message for you, I want a complete responses instead of a few measly words.

When I try my best to do something, please don't diss me for no reason at all.

I wish I can go home soon and leave this stupid place.

Again ?

How do you feel when suddenly someone decided to cut you away without any explanations ?

This is so unfair and also similar to what had happened in my past. I always know things. Don't think just because I look innocent, blur and childish with a "I don't care attitude" doesn't mean that I don't know/care about anything that is happening around me.

Before cutting me away like some useless trash, I would like to request (demand) an explanation.

Opening up to someone and exposing your heart and soul is always a bad idea. I'll not make the same mistake again.

Maiden-In-Waiting

The villages in the Kingdom had been watched over by Shield Maidens are far as anyone could remember. The Shield Maidens were said to be blessed by Goddess Tyr with the power to protect and shield the villages and its people from harm and evil hence the name “Shield Maidens.” Each Maiden-In-Waiting was chosen by the current village Maiden at the age of twelve by the Will of Goddess Tyr.

At the age of twelve, Aeyr and another girl was summoned by the village Shield Maiden to be chosen as the Maiden-In-Waiting. Aeyr’s parents were very reluctant to let her go but in the end, they relented as the Will of Goddess Tyr must not be opposed and ignored lest misfortune befall their village.

Traditionally, the Maidens-In-Waiting are isolated from the people of their village. Alone and lonely, the two girls soon became great friends even though they quarreled a lot. Under the training of the Shield Maiden, they attained the power and knowledge to shield and protect their village and its people. Through various experiments with their new-found powers, they discovered that it could also be used to protect their loved ones.

Sitting underneath their favorite tree, Aeyr who was twirling strands of her hair with her finger, said, “ I love this tree. I wish it would bear fruit soon so I can taste the delicious apples. ”

“ I wish you would try harder in exercising your powers. You know she won’t be pleased with you if you keep making her flowers die. And my pet fish, how could you ! “ berated Myr while giving Aeyr a hard pinch in the arm.

“ Owww, that hurts ! And yes, I was practicing with my powers but with your fish. Owww, stop it ! I did say that I was sorry ! “

“ Next time, don’t use my pets as your practicing material. If Goldie, my last fish dies, I’ll give you a pinch that you’ll never ever forget, “ said Myr in a menacing tone.

“ Fine, fine. I won’t do that again, “ Aeyr sighed. “ I wish I can be as good as you. I can’t even give a simple Blessing to make this tree grow faster. You’ll be a better Shield Maiden than me, that’s for sure. “

Pointing at the sky with finger, Myr exclaimed loudly, “ Aeyr, look over there at the left. Is that a Dove ? “

Brushing away dirt from her dress as she stood up, Aeyr squinted her eyes and said, “ I see a white bird. It’s probably a white crane bird or something. “

“ Look again. It’s definitely a Dove. Do you know what this means ? “ uttered Myr, her green eyes widened in fear.

Aeyr remained in silence for a few seconds and said thoughtfully, “ I recalled that Master once said that it’s a kind of omen but other than that, I remembered nothing else. “

“ You idiot ! You have not been listening attentively. The white Dove is an omen of death and bloodshed, “ Myr screamed loudly while Aeyr gasped with her mouth wide open. “ We must inform this to Master immediately ! “

Myr grabbed Aeyr’s arms with her hand firmly and ran toward a small hut which is located near the river.

“ Myr, it’s flying towards us ! Faster ! “ shouted Aeyr as she turned her head behind her back. Both of them then began to run as fast as they could while glancing at the bird fearfully.

Suddenly, Aeyr tripped over a fallen tree branch and sprained her foot. She groaned at the extreme pain, her legs sprawled on the earth.

“ Aeyr, are you alright ? You can’t run like this. I’ll have to carry you to Master, “ cried Myr in distress.

“ It’s nothing. I just sprained my foot. You can’t carry me. I’m too heavy for you, “ said Aeyr glumly while ignoring the throbbing pain at her foot. “ Go and fetch Master. “

“ But I can’t just leave you here with that bird flying around ! “

“ Look, it’s not here now. It probably got eaten by an eagle or something. Quickly, Myr. Go and fetch her, “ said Aeyr as she tried to convince her friend to leave her.

“ Fine, if you say so. I’ll give you a Blessing of Protection to keep you safe before I return with Master. “

Then, she closed her eyes, her brows furrowed in concentration and her right palm placed on Aeyr’s head. Her palm, surrounded by a soft golden aura, became increasingly warmer and warmer. Finally, she took her palm away and said, “ Done. I’ll go and find her now. Be safe. “

As Myr left Aeyr alone on the ground to search for her Master, the Dove suddenly appeared in the sky. Aeyr couldn’t do anything but stared fearfully at the Dove as it swooped down towards her at great speed like an eagle hunting its prey. Aeyr disappeared without a trace like the other three Chosen Children.

Myr will then later come back with the Master Shield Maiden, expecting to find a relieved Aeyr waiting for them. Both of them and the village people will search frantically for a missing Maiden-In-Waiting. The sole Maiden-In-Waiting will forever regret for leaving her best friend behind on that fateful day.

I’m sorry for leaving you behind

Lost

I'm surrounded by people
Yet I feel lost and alone
I'm not sure where I belong
So I stay away from them
Not willing to intrude
Their conversation
Their laughter
Their smile

I wonder how would it feel
To be one of them
I wonder how would it be
To have lots of company

Do you understand me ?
Yearning to be alone
When surrounded by people
Yearning to be surrounded by people
When I'm alone

Sometimes I wish
That I can sprout wings
And fly far far away from everything
To be free in the sky
Not troubled by anything
Soaring

The Great Tree

Pan, don't wander too far ...

Pan gave little chuckle and crawled back towards the Great Tree.

The Great Tree had existed well before the humans had migrated there. It's said that Goddess Izyel had created the Great Tree since the beginning of time. However, the villagers had avoided going near to the Great Tree. The forefathers of the villagers had cause great destruction to the nature surrounding their village centuries ago. The Great Tree was very displeased with them and cursed their village with decades of famine. Ever since then, no human tried to go near the Great Tree. Except for Pan.

Pan hugged the Great Tree with his tiny arms and said, " Big tree ! Big tree! " He gave another chuckle and let himself fall down on the soft green grass.

A little squirrel scarpered on one of the branch of the Great Tree with a blueberry in its mouth. The squirrel jumped down from the branch and landed near Pan.

" Yay, Squirrerly ! " cheered Pan while extending his arm towards the squirrel.

The squirrel dropped the blueberry in front of Pan and jumped onto the open palm of Pan. Pan snuggled the little squirrel and gave a gentle pat on the squirrel's head.

Pan is raised by the inhabitants of the forest as long as Pan's little head could remember. The forest spirits comforted him when he cried for his parents who never came for him. The animals gave him fruits and water from the river when he is hungry and thirsty. The Great Tree watches over him as he grew day by day. Pan has a very happy life surrounded by nature.

Pan, the birds told me that the Dove is coming ...

" Dove ? " asked Pan inquisitively while ruffling the fur of the little squirrel.

Yes, a Dove. Pan, listen to me carefully and take this with you ...

A leaf from the Great Tree floated gently down. With his fingers, Pan snatched at the leaf until the leaf is finally secured in his palm.

Do not lose the leaf and always keep it with you. It will help you when you needed help the most ...

Pan crawled to the Great Tree and gave the Great Tree another hug. " Big Tree always with me, " said Pan.

Here comes the Dove. Pan, We are always with you. Farewell ...

Pan held his outstretch arm towards the Dove, his forefinger briefly touching the beak of the creature. He gave one last chuckle to the Great Tree and disappeared from sight.

Big tree always with me

The Warrior Who Refuse To Fight

" Stand up, you coward. Fight me ! " shouted the Warrior to his young apprentice. The Warrior held a naked sword in his right hand and a long leather whip in his left hand.

He brandished the sword close to the chest of his apprentice and said, " You'll die if you don't fight ! You'll be killed by vicious creatures and vile humans ! As your Master, I'm ordering you to fight me now ! "

The apprentice cowered in the corner of the training room, his sword laying limply in his hand.

" Master, please. I don't want to fight, " whimpered the young apprentice who is clad in leather armor which is a size too large for him. His arms and legs are darkly scarred by numerous past injuries and wounds.

" You are disobeying my order. You'll be punished severely ! " He held his left hand high up above his head and sent the whip forcefully down onto his apprentice's body.

" No, no more ! I'm begging you ! " cried the young apprentice in pain. The thin whip had sliced into his arms, exposing his flesh to the surface. Red blood is trickling down to his hands and then down to his unused sword.

" You're a disgrace to the Warriors. I should have never taken you in as my apprentice, " growled the rugged Warrior who did not noticed the soft flapping wings of a bird.

As the Warrior readies his whip for another round of whipping, the Dove flew in front of the apprentice, its soft white wings lightly touching his scarred cheek. The boy disappeared in an instant as the Warrior stood there, bewildered.

Finally, I'm free from you

Time Passes

As I grow older
As I change
As I see the world in a different way

Friends are not for forever
Love is not for always
And our hearts grow heavier day by day

Running From Fate

" Senfiel, hurry, we don't have much time, " said the old woman as she helped the child up a rocky hill. The child fell and the sharp barren rocks scrapped the child's knee mercilessly, making it bleed.

" Master, where are we going ? What will happen to the villagers ? " The child asked while ignoring the pain from his bleeding knee. Pain is nothing for the young 12 year old child with somber gray eyes.

" We have no choice. They'll have to cope without a Healer for the moment, " The woman said wistfully. " Come. Let me tend to your knee wound. "

" I'm fine. I can heal myself, " He touched his wounded knee lightly with his fingers and in a flash, the wound is no more.

" Very good. I hope that I have taught you well for I'll not always be with you forever. One day, you'll have to walk alone. Now, come ! " The woman hurriedly walk up the hill while holding to the hand of the child.

At the distance, a tiny white speck appeared in the horizon.

" No ! We are too late ! " cried the Healer in exasperation. She turned around and hugged Senfiel tightly with her arms. She cried as Senfiel stood quietly without moving.

" Master, don't cry. I can take care of myself, " said Senfiel calmly but inside, his heart is twisting in pain. " I'll be back soon to help you with the villagers. "

I don't know if I'll be able to see her again. I'll miss you

The pure white dove landed on Senfiel's shoulder.

The King summons you

The child nodded at the bird on his shoulder and said, " I'll come with you. " Immediately, his body began to fade in color as if he is disappearing into thin air.

" Senfiel, take care and be brave, for your Fate had called upon you, " cried the Healer. Her eyes is filled with tears as she hugged him tightly without letting go even though she knows that Senfiel will be taken away from her soon.

Senfiel smiled sadly at her as he disappears from her gaze and said, " Master, I thank you for your teachings and guidance. "

I love you, mother

Let The Doves Fly

Father, what would you do in my position ? Would you sacrifice your only child to save our Kingdom ?

How would I know ? I'm already dead.

Father, please. I need your wisdom. Help me ...

You already know that I'm not King Martel. I'm only a mere shadow of him. As the King of this Kingdom, you have the power to summon us, the Shadows of the Dead. The real King Martel had passed on to the next life

My Kingdom is in ruins. The children is our only salvation but my son ...

I have only one thing to say to you : Let the doves fly. I have to leave. It is almost dawn

And the King wept silently as the sun rises over his ruined Kingdom.

Once Upon A Time

" My Lord, our kingdom is falling. You must act now. Please, my Lord, you must make your decision now, " implored the Knight in a battered armor which is tainted with dried dark red blood while kneeling in front of the King.

The King closed his eyes wearily and said, " My loyal Knight, the poor children, I cannot do this to them. I cannot make this decision. My only son ... "

" You have to make this decision or else our Kingdom will be doomed. The people of our Kingdom must be protected. The children will save us all, " pleaded the Knight.

" The children are not ready to bear such a heavy burden. I will not send them to their death ! Now, leave this chamber ! " said the King angrily, his noble eyes filled with fury.

" As you wish, my Lord. But listen to me for a little while more. They are the Chosen Ones. They will have to fulfill their duty even though they have to give up their lives. Remember that the late King Martel had charged you with the responsibility to protect the Kingdom, " the Knight inclined his head, stood and walked out from the King's Chamber.

The King is left all alone in the stone cold chamber.

... to be continued later

Jack Of All Trades

The one of thing I know about myself is that I'm a master of none. What am I good at ? Practically, nothing unless you counted being sarcastic as a talent ( Audrey <3 ). I can draw a bit, I can play a little bit of music, I can study a bit, I can sing a bit, I can write a bit, I can do pretty much everything but the results are usually quite mediocre and not up to standard.

I was looking through my List of Things To When I'm a Year 3 student and I found out that I wanted do to a lot of things like playing piano and violin again, learning how to compose, learning how to draw, improving on sports and etc. Sometimes I wish that I'm really good at something like maybe in music or arts. Certainly not academics as I hate reading stupid stuff that I won't even use in a few years. Remember Add Math, Geography, Moral, Sejarah and Physics ?

No one ever comes to me and says, Hey, you're really good at blah blah blah I want to see you do it again This is so cool or something like that

If I'm really good at music, I want to join an orchestra/music teacher

If I'm really good at writing, I want to become an author

If I'm really good at arts, I want to be an artist/graphic designer

If I'm really good at singing, I want to be singer

Now I hope that I'll be really good at tooth craving and who knows what else since I'm going to be a dentist

My Early Secondary Life

Being with one of my classmates had reminded me of my secondary life in Kuching. I had 2 really good friends. One is a talented artist that I grew up with since primary school and the other one, we met in class on the first day of Form 1. We were very close together and used to do all kinds of stupid things like writing letters to each other even though we basically sat next to each other and onlining in msn to chat even though we are going to meet tomorrow in the morning. Internet was expensive that time. I remember drawing stupid comics with my childhood friend and admiring her art. The other friend is a really cute and kind girl that everyone likes.

In Form 2, we drifted apart and make new friends when we no longer sat close to each together. Except for me. All of I remember now was I really hated Form 2 and Form 3 and I'm really glad to move out of there. I was a misfit and everyone had their own cliques and group. My childhood friend still talked to me and go to canteen together with me so it was still okay. I can't really remember much as my Form 2 and Form 3 life as it is distorted by my ill feelings and memories. I remember being hurt and angry for being ignored. Maybe I was a bad person at that time or maybe I was a plain ugly duckling. I remember being jealous as other people became close to my "best" friends. I remember writing angry letters intending to give to her and in the end tearing it into pieces when she finally talks to me. I was being stupid at that time. I felt so happy when she finally talks to me that I forgot all my hurt and jealousy. I forgave her so many times for ignoring me. Maybe she was just busy ?

In Form 3, things gotten a lot worse. Once again, we are sitting quite far apart from each other. I made a few friends ( <3 Shin Lee ) but I'm always waiting and waiting for her to stop ignoring me. It's not that I didn't make the effort to talk to her. Maybe she got bored of me and preferred her new bunch of friends. They are good friends I admit. But I'm not really within their wavelength so I stay out of that clique. I have this is sour memory of sitting in the empty seat in front of her table just waiting for her to talk me. I had waited until the owner of the seat arrived. She said that she's busy studying in the beginning. But later on, she just ignored me as if I'm not there. Until now, I still can't really forgive myself ( or her ) for acting just like a fool waiting for "friend" like that. I was so happy when I finally moved to a school where friends don't ignore each other and always support each other no matter what.

We are still kinda in touch with each each. I used to visit her when I come back to Kuching but I have no need to bother her with my "bored-ness" so I don't want to go even though my parent keep on asking about her and telling me to visit her. But still I'm trying to patch things up but I'm very reluctant to do so. I have not forgiven her yet.Yesterday I saw her in facebook and chatted with her a bit. I ask her when is she going to come and visit me since she is always saying that she'll visit me one day. She said that she misses me. And in the back of my mind, I wonder if it is true or it's just pure fakery ?

My childhood friend once said to me, " I do not believe in having best friends "

I believe her now.

A Random Video About A Random Game

I know my playing sucks. But I was using the wrong pins at that time. Instead of killing them, it was healing them ! So I had to stop using Neku and concentrate on my partner instead.

End of Final Fantasy III DS

I finally finished playing FF3 DS. The final boss was easier than I expected. I beat it at level 51 ! Luckily I didn't train them up til lvl6o and lvl99 job level. It would have been an epic waste of time. My team as Sage, Devout, Summoner and Ninja. 2 dedicated healers are essential for the final boss. I would have gotten pwned so bad if I didn't have both of them casting Curaga and Curaja. Ingus the Ninja died loads of time though but I had Refia the Devout revive him.

So, what's next ?

Should I play FF6 or KH : CoM ?

Oh, and I had also finished with The World Ends With You. The ending is so awesome ! The final boss pwned me so I had to rethink my strategy and equip new pins. But it was totally worth it !

Square Enix, I <3 you

The World Ends With You

The game is simply awesome ! I love the plot and the style of its graphic. Playing that game makes me curious about the culture and places in Japan. Neku Sakuraba is a typical angst-y teenager but I totally get him. He reminds me of Sora. And his headphones thingy is so cool ! I want one ! I like playing as 2 characters at the same time. Shiki is meh but Joshua's skill is nice especially the skill where he floats in the air and released angels of destruction. The game would be so nice if I have a stylus or a Tablet.

Can't wait to play the rest of the game to find out who killed Neku.

Thank you Grace for introducing the game !

Biochemistry

Biochemistry sucks !

End of story

FF III : Random

*squeals* I want them ! I see Knight or Warrior, I'm not sure, a Devout, Red Mage, Freelancer, Dragoon, Magus maybe and the rest I don't know

Aren't they adorable ? Oh so serious little faces with spectacles. Luneth and Ingus look great as Scholars. I think I have an obsession with blue eyes and blond hair. Too bad Scholars are pretty much useless in the game but they can double the effects of items they use like potions and magic damaging items.

I hate when monsters kill Refia and Arc. No one can bully my Refia and Arc ! *action replay* D:<

I don't care if Luneth or Ingus dies. Especially Luneth. Poor thing.

Final Fantasy III DS Opening

This is one of the nicest openings I have ever seen. I really like the magical music score. It makes me feel as if I'm traveling across some strange magical land.

I Heart Final Fantasy III DS

Arc, Refia, Luneth and Ingus

Refia as White Mage *So cute*

The characters are so cute and the costumes for each of the class jobs are awesome ! I love playing as a White Mage and a Black Mage. Can't wait to unlock more classes. I'll probably make either Refia or Arc as a Geomancer. Arc is so adorable !

Hikari

Donna toki datte Tada hitori de Unmei wasurete Ikite kita no ni Totsuzen no hikari no naka me ga sameru Mayonaka ni
Shizuka ni deguchi ni tatte Kurayami ni hikari o ute
Imadoki yakusoku nante fuan ni saseru dake kana Negai o kuchi ni shitai dake sa Kazoku ni mo shoukai suru yo Kitto umaku iku yo
Donna toki datte Zutto futari de Donna toki datte Soba ni iru kara Kimi to iu hikari ga watashi o mitsukeru Mayonaka ni
Urusai (When you turn my way) toori ni haitte Unmei (Take it all the way) no kamen o tore
Sakiyomi no shisugi nante imi no nai koto wa yamete Kyou wa oishii mono o tabeyou yo Mirai wa zutto saki da yo Boku ni mo wakaranai
Kansei sasenaide Motto yokushite WAN SHIIN zutsu totte Ikeba ii kara Kimi to iu hikari ga watashi no SHINARIO Utsushidasu
Motto hanasou yo Mokuzen no ashita no koto mo TEREBI keshite Watashi no koto dake o miteite yo
Donna ni yokuttatte Shinji kirenai ne Sonna toki datte Soba ni iru kara Kimi to iu hikari ga watashi o mitsukeru Mayonaka ni
Motto hanasou yo Mokuzen no ashita no koto mo TEREBI keshite Watashi no koto dake o miteite yo No matter what the time I`m just alone Destiny forgotten, Even though I kept going. Inside of the sudden light I awaken In the middle of the night Quietly, stand in the exit way, And, in the pitch-black, take the light And about the recent promises, is it just that I`m so anxious? A wish that`s wanting to be said, but shall be repressed I`ll introduce my family, You`ll surely get along well No matter what the time We'll always be together No matter what the time Because you`re by my side The light known as "you" finds me, In the middle of the night Enter a noisy street And put on the mask of destiny. I'll stop doing things that have no meaning, like thinking about the future. Today I`ll eat delicious things. The future is always before us, Even I don`t know it. It`s not necessary to go right to the end, Just keep going. It`s okay if the scenes Go on one by one. The light known as "you" Reflects my scenario Let`s talk more, And about the tomorrow that`s before your very eyes. Turn off the television, And look only at me. No matter how well we`re doing, I don`t believe in us completely. But at those sort of times, Because you`re by my side, The light known as "you" finds me, In the middle of the night. Let`s talk more, And about the tomorrow that`s before your very eyes. Turn off the television, And look only at me.

Kingdom Hearts : Birth By Sleep

I just saw this and I think it's so awesome !



I really want to play this game. That guy looks like Sora ! But my favourite character in that game is Aqua. Thumbs up for the great music and the fight scenes are really cool.

<3

Trauma Center

Trauma Center is my current obsession for the moment. Sorry, Kingdom Hearts, I have to stop playing you for a while *snickers*

I enjoy cutting people up, burning polyps, exorcising tumors and stitching them back up again as good as new. Oh, and did I mention about defeating and killing alien-like GUILT in the patients' body ?

Like so totally awesome !

Since I only have my Nintendo DS emulator, I could only play Trauma Center : Under The Knife and Trauma Center : Under The Knife 2. Playing the game with Wii will be so awesome *cries*



They are so pro ! I wish I have their reflexes and skills *drools*