First Full Body Anime-Ish Drawing

What Would You Do

When you see someone alone,
Would you accompany him or would you ruin what little time he have for himself ?

When you see a child crying,
Would you tell him, be a man and don't cry or would you sit quietly and try to comfort him ?

When you see a dying bird on the ground,
Would you kill it out of mercy or would you leave it to die on its own ?

When you see the sky turning dark,
Would you run for cover before the rain comes or would you take a moment to admire the power of nature ?

When you see everyone's trampling on each other to get to the top,
Would you try your best to beat the others to be the first or would you wait until when everyone's gone and take your time to reach the top ?

When you see your enemy in pain and despair,
Would you think that everything that had happened to him is his punishment or would you stay with him and try to help him out ?

When you see your lover with another man,
Would you try to reconquer your lover or would you let her go in peace ?

When you see yourself in the mirror,
Would you turn away from the mirror or would you gaze into the mirror, admiring your beauty ?

Decisions, decisions and decisions.

Midnight's Winter

Workload has been increasing exponentially but as long as revisions are done as soon as possible, things should be alright.

I love the subjects although sometimes, the scientific terms can be a little mind-boggling and classes can be sleep-inducing. But I'm grateful that I don't have to ever study Maths, Chemistry and Physics for the rest of my life.

I like to draw but I was never good in drawing. But to my surprise, my drawings for anatomy turn out to be better than expected. In fact, I'm actually quite pleased with them. I found out that I can copy drawings well but I'll never be good at drawing spontaneously. Nevertheless, I'm still very happy it for the time being. Maybe in the future, I can draw better drawings.

Should I change myself if changing myself will bring me to greater heights ? Why is introverted-ness not appreciated in life ? What is wrong preferring to be alone rather than mingling with others ? I feel so sick of people who are fake, people who uses others for their own means, people who never cared for anyone except for themselves, people who ignore others because they have nothing "useful", people who pretend to be nice so that they can milk every inch of your kindness and I can state so many more other examples. Why should I socialize when people are behaving in their selfish ways ?

I admit that I'm not perfect and sometimes, I can act selfish too but if I'm able to help or return back the favour, I'll definately do so. I'm not one of those " use and dump " people. If being social means that I have to be like "them", then no thank you.

This world need lots of love. Not those kind of fake love, obsessive love, possessive love or even those boy-girl relantionship love. Have you ever had a toy, a teddy bear or a favourite blanket ? Although it's not brand new, dirty and patches of stuff are coming off and unraveling, you still love it. Maybe sometimes it had to be washed in the washing machine and dried for a few days but you're still waiting for it to return to you again, clean but basically still your old same blanket.

The world need more of that kind of love. Loving and accepting imperfections, not tolerating. Companionship in the form of enjoying each others presence, nothing more or less. Even though, ages had passed but an emotional bond can still be felt, strengthened by distance and absence and therefore, appreciating even more. Love in simple terms means just being happy, contented, comforted and joyful with the object of your love, let it be, a toy, a person, a favourite pillow or an animal. Love is never as complicated as they make it sound as. Love and keep on loving and the world may be a happier place.

Pure love is never complicated.

My Calling

I think I have found my true calling. I have to sleep on it and think a bit. It feels so ... right.

<3 You all

The Hermit Sage

Sometimes I try too hard being something that I'm not and I ended up being tired and empty. I don't understand why everyone should be always be around with people, talking, being sociable, more talking and more hanging around with other people. I know that communications are very important in life and work but sometimes I feel so tired being with people, trying to talk and create conversations. I don't really mind just sitting around, listening and not talking, basically just enjoy each others company but maybe to others, my silence is something that is awkward. People may think that I'm snobbish and stuff but I just don't have anything to say. I prefer just to listen. I'm not a talker, I'm a listener.

I tried to change my antisocial self but I ended up just being not me, faking enthusiasm just to continue the conversation.

I prefer being myself than a fake me.

I would like to be like others who have better communication skills than old antisocial me but I'm not them. They would probably be better doctors/dentist/businessman/whatever than me but I don't care. I just do whatever I'm suppose to do or work and that's it.

Sometimes, I wish I could just be alone until I'm already to come out from my cave.

If I'm ignoring you and not talking, it's not you, it's me. Please don't be mad. I just want to be alone. But I do enjoy your company. It's just that I don't like to talk.

I can totally imagine myself as an old stuffy professor just immersing himself in whatever he's doing and oblivious to his surroundings.

If I'm suddenly talkative, I'm coming out from my cave to visit and talk but if I'm suddenly quiet, I'm in my antisocial state again.

Being me is complicated.

Over and out.

Drowning myself in thoughts and music. <3

I'm a proud loner with my head held up high.

<3

Just Wanna Say That


I Love You All


And


I Love My New Blog Layout

Yasmin Ahmad [July 1, 1958 - July 25, 2009]

A few days ago, I went to Audrey's blog and I saw a tribute posted by her for the late Yasmin Ahmad. There were a few videos and as usual, I clicked " play " on all the videos so that they can start loading. Unfortunately, I was sidetracked by the "Up" movie video and I closed Audrey's tab on Firefox, forgetting to watch the Youtube videos' by Yasmin Ahmad.

Today, I woke up and began my daily ritual for checking and reading blogs. I went to Audrey's blog again and loaded the videos. But this time, I was waiting for the videos to load completely.

And I watched.

I'm not ashamed to say that I cried while watching those heart-touching videos.

I remembered watching " Sepet " on one of those Astro channels with chat texts scrolling down constantly. I loved the movie but couldn't understand why the chat texts were saying that the movie is ridiculous and boring. Sure, the ending is a little... shall we say, unique but the way each and every characters managed to touch our heart is truly endearing. Every time, when we go to the movie, we only saw those Action Packed, 3D Animated ( Pixars, excluded ) and Horror movies. Those movies are exciting with lots of smokes, flashes and booms and not to mention, blood, gore and sexual content. They are what I call, instant gratification movie. You get what you want. Excellent graphic and sound effects ( including sexy women with impossibly large boobs, why oh people HAVE to focus so much on boobs ) but little to none thinking and feeling-ish. " Sepet " is a refreshing breath of clean air among those kind of movies. I really want to watch Gubra and Mukhsin but maybe later on.

After watching the videos, I went Wikipedia to search more about her. And I noticed this :

Family (2008) for the Singaporean Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports
Funeral (2009) for the Singaporean Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports

Family and Funeral are two of the titles to the videos. My favorite is Funeral. BUT Singaporean Ministry ?

And one of her movies were censored by the " Malaysian censorship authorities ". This is a quote from Wikipedia.

As Yasmin's second feature film, Sepet, Muallaf was first screened in Singapore instead of Malaysia, where it was shot. However, unlike the former, Muallaf may not be screened in Malaysian cinemas after all since the Malaysian censorship authorities had requested key scenes to be cut, thus rendering the story meaningless.

I'm sure you know what am I thinking. Singapore is more supportive of Yasmin Ahmad than Malaysia, her country of birth. This is extremely shameful ( not really an appropriate word ) to me as a Malaysian.

Rest in peace, Yasmin Ahmad.

Teva's Tear Part 2

“ Adryan, my dear, wake up. “

Adryan stirred slightly, his mind floating aimlessly. He tried to open his eyes but the bright light blinded him. He squint his eyes against the light and saw a blurry figure in front of him. The place on his neck where the fighter struck didn’t hurt him anymore.

“ Sairin, where are we ? ”

“ Dearie, just stay still and rest. I’ll bring you some hot broth in a moment.”

His vision cleared and he saw an old female cleric at the side of his bed. His memories flooded into him and he remembered everything that had happened.

“ Where’s Sairin ? Where is she ?”

The old cleric looked sadly at him and said, “ We managed to revive you but Sairin was too long gone. We were too late. “

Adyran turned his face away from her and wept silently. Hot tears were splashing on the bed sheets. Agonizing pain and despair clawed from within his chest. His breath came in gasps. He felt a deep hole of darkness in his heart. He was supposed to protect Sairin and he failed. Now, she’s gone forever and he’s still alive.

I don’t deserve to be alive. I want to die and be with Sairin.

Suddenly, he felt a firm hand grabbing his shoulder.

“ Adyran, be strong. Sairin maybe be gone from us but she will never be gone from our heart. Have courage and remember that. “

“ WHY do you care ? You don’t even know her, “ sneered Adyran angrily. He glanced at the old cleric with rage. “ I don’t need your comfort. She’s dead… She’s dead forever… I don’t care about anything, anymore. “

“ I do care. She was my best apprentice. If you won’t be strong for yourself, at least be strong for your daughter, “ said the cleric as she walked wearily away, leaving him alone in the room. The room darkened as dawn approaches.

My daughter… She looks exactly like Sairin…

His heart lurched suddenly in pain. He tried to control the pain that is trapped within him. Little by little, the pain dulled. But, the sadness in his heart will never be cured. He is not whole anymore. He will never be whole again.

“ Daddy ? “ A timid voice came across the room.

Adyran turned his head toward the door and saw a pale white face looking at him.

Rainna…my daughter…The old woman was right. I have to be strong for my daughter. I can’t wallow in self pity.

“ Rainna, come. Daddy is here, “ said Adyran, trying to force himself to smile but his face can’t seem to work properly.

The child ran into the room, her short black hair reflecting the light of the dying sun. Her dress flapped softly as she lifted her light and small body onto the bed and sat beside Adryan. She turned her pale face toward her father and said, “ Daddy, where’s mother ? “

“ She’s…she’s not with us anymore, “ said Adyran with a sea of sorrow in his voice.

The child nodded sadly but knowingly. Without a word, she raised her arms up and hugged her father, her arms not quite reaching his back. A tear fell from her eyes and then down her cold cheek. Adyran hugged his daughter silently. Together, they are united in sorrow of the death of their loved one.

I love you, Sairin.


Late night scribble. A tad shorter.

Teva's Tear

Brilliant lights flashed and crackled with destructive power but Adyran managed to dodge them skillfully. He has in his hands, beautiful but deadly bow made from willow which was an inheritance from his father, a famous bowman known for his accuracy and stealth.

“ Is that the best you can do, mage ?” as he dodged a few more spells while taunting the mage who aimed the spells at him.

The mage gnashed his teeth in anger and sent a blast of fire at Adyran but he missed again.

“ Hah, missed again ! You are really a useless mage,” taunted Adyran and he shots a barrage of arrows at the mage.

The mage tried to back away from the arrow but his back was against the solid grey wall of the cave. One by one, the arrows penetrated into the mage. The mage’s eyes widened in shock and pain as fresh red blood spurted out from his wounds. Soon, he collapsed into a heap on the ground, the blood pooling underneath him.

Adyran looks away from the mage’s body without remorse. This is war and there is no time for guilt. The death of this mage will not be a loss to the enemy. The enemy has thousands and thousands under his command.

“ Adyran, look out !”

Adyran leaps away in time as an arrow flies through the air and landed in the ground beside him.

“ Thanks Sairin. That was a close one,” grinned Adyran while giving her the thumbs up.

Sairin gave Adyran a weary smile and casts a healing spell on one of their injured members. The wound on the leg of the injured mage glowed and faded away as she completes the spell. The mage stood up gingerly and tested his weight on his leg.

“ I think it’s all better now. Thank you, Sairin. I was careless when I went against the fighter. I lost my balance and he slashed my leg with his axe. Luckily, Adyran managed to kill him before he made me into mince pie,” grimaced the mage, Qwan.

Sairin punched his shoulder playfully and replied, “ It’s my job to heal, cure and revive. Now, get on with the fight and win the battle.”

“ I will win the battle for you, Sairin. You’re our best cleric !” Qwan ran off to help a fellow fighter who was struggling to kill an enemy archer.

Adyran’s heart swelled with pride. Sairin, his wife, is one of the best cleric in the land. Her knowledge of healing and curing are vast and she’s an experienced cleric. Her clerical skills are unrivaled. She can heal, restore, cure and buff you before you could say, “Buff please.” They are under good care as long as she’s their cleric.

The battle continued for another hour. The numbers of the enemy are dwindling but the enemy still outnumbered them by the hundreds. However, Adyran and his comrades are holding well so far. They are among the best of each of their classes. They have to resist the onslaught of the enemy for as long as they can until more reinforcement from the city arrived. With the reinforcement, they could easily defeat the enemy.

Suddenly, the Arch Mage of the enemy shouted, “ Kill the cleric. Kill her and we shall obliterate them easily. “

The long staff with a dark gem of the Arch Mage pointed towards Sairin. The enemy charged towards Sairin under the order of the Arch Mage. Sairin casted a healing spell on a fighter, her brows tight in concentration, oblivious to the fact the she is now the main target of the enemy.

“ Sairin, get away from there ! ” shouted Adyran hoarsely. He ran towards Sairin, trying to protect her from the horde of enemy charging toward her with all the intent of killing her, shooting arrow after arrow at the enemy. Only a few of the enemy were killed and the rest of them surged towards Sairin like an unstoppable wave.

Sairin opened her eyes in shock as the ground before her was struck and blackened by spells and arrows from the enemy. She quickly casts a shield of invincibility and sprinted away in bid to outrun the enemy. Arrows and spells struck her shield with tremendous force but the shield is still intact and whole, protecting her from harm.

“ Everyone protect Sairin !” Adyran shouted while trying to take down as many of the enemy as he can with his arrows. But his comrades are too far away to hear him. Only Qwan managed to hear him over the sounds of battle, the cries of pain and suffering from the injured.

Qwan casted a spell in front of the enemy. A pool of angry bright-red burning fire appeared on the ground. Some of the enemy withered and die in agony, their body turning into grey ashes.

“ May you burn forever in he-,” Qwan stopped in mid-sentence as a deadly spell struck his chest and he crumpled to the ground.

“ Qwan ! ” cried Sairin in despair. Suddenly, her shield flickered once, then twice and died. Her energy is drained from the effort to keep the shield up. She doesn’t have energy to recast the shield again.

An arrow struck Sairin’s shoulder and she stumbled in pain. Before Adyran could shout a warning, she was thrown backwards onto a rock by a blasting spell. Her back struck against the rock with force and she slided down the rock onto the ground, shuddering in pain. Her back is laid on the ground with a strange angle. Suddenly, she lay still, not moving anymore.

“ Sairin, nooooo !” Adyran cried. He scrambled to where Sairin’s body laid, not caring that the enemy are nearing him. He cradled Sairin in his arms, shaking her as if he was trying to rouse her from sleep. But her body only shook limply without life. Her once bright and inquisitive eyes are extinguished forever.

“ I’ll kill you ! I’ll kill you all ! “ screamed Adyran in blind rage while hugging Sairin’s body tightly against his chest. The enemy only laughed cruelly as they surrounded Adyran. A fighter raised his sword high, aiming for Adyran’s unprotected and exposed neck.

Adyran felt a sharp pain on his neck and then dullness as he collapses beside Sairin’s body. He could feel his warm blood spilling across his chest and soaking the ground.

Sairin, I’m coming to join you, he thought as he sank into comforting darkness.


Another late night scribble.

One Wish

The sky is rumbling with angry thunder and lightning flashing in the heavens, illuminating the ground. Standing at a distance below the valley, the Wish surveyed its surroundings, hiding in the shadows among the bushes. It spread its semi-translucent wings and took off into the sky, the wings beating furiously. The Wish hovered for a while, pausing, and then headed north to a little village near the edge of a roaring river.

The river is the Life and Death of the villagers, providing sustenance but taking away life from the foolish few who decided to go against the might of the river. The river overflows when the monsoon season comes and the villagers had to move to the hills nearby to a temporary refuge, leaving the river to wreck destructions on the lands below. Houses and trees are destroyed and dismantled by the strong currents and animals drowned if they are unable to escape to higher grounds.

The Wish landed on a tree branch, the leaves covering its slender body from sight. Only a few people had seen the Wish. They say the Wish came from an ancient race of creatures with strange powers but the race had died out through the passing of time. Only a handful of the strange creatures still roamed the lands and they can take on different forms and shapes. The unbelievers dismissed the existence of the creatures and mocked those who believed, saying that the creatures are things of legends and stories befitting for infants and children.

One of those creatures is named as the Wish by the humans and for one special reason. The Wish has the power of granting deepest wants and desires, turning wishes into reality. Many men had tried to search and capture the Wish but none had succeeded. The Wish does not grant wishes by force or command. It randomly selects and grants wishes as it wills. It likes to see and observe quietly what the humans will do with their wish, never interfering with the outcomes.

The Wish nimbly jumped down to the grassy earth, its glittering black eyes scrutinizing a hut in front of it. It saw a small baby boy lying in a crib through the unlatched window. Flexing its wings once again, the Wish flew into the hut gracefully, carefully maneuvering around the potted plants on the ledge of the window. The wind was blowing hard and the curtains rippled by the force of the wind.

It flew next to the side of the sleeping infant and folded its wings. The sleeping baby was unaware of a little creature beside of him and continued in his deep slumber. The Wish leaned over towards the pale ears of the infant and said, ‘I give you the Gift of a Wish to be granted whenever you desire.’

Satisfied with what it had done, the Wish faded from sight and disappeared while the boy slept on, not knowing that he had been given a Gift by the Wish.

Another one of my random stories. I couldn't sleep last night.

The Wanderer

Wandering aimlessly, her head bowed slightly forward in exhaustion and resignation, she walked weakly while stumbling in her footsteps. Her hands were clutched tightly towards her chest in pain and agony. She lifted her head, seeking something that she desperately desired. But her pale grey eyes were filled with hopelessness. A silent tear trickled down her dirt-stained cheek as she tried to force herself to move and continue searching. The pain in her is paralyzing both her body and soul. “Courage, my dear, courage”, she whispered hoarsely.

Suddenly, she fell forward on her knees, her bleeding hands supporting herself on the ground filled with ragged stones with sharp edges. Fresh blood flowed from her hands and knees. She winced at the pain. But pain is nothing unusual to her. Her life is filled with constant and never-ending pain and suffering. Dreams and hopes unfulfilled. Yet, she kept moving on although nothing in her life is worth living for, never giving up, not just yet.

Sometime in her darkest moments, she could see a glimpse of hope. She wondered if the hope is only a figment of her desperate imagination. Yet, the hope kept her sustained in her will to live and endure. Pushing herself back on her wounded feet, she ignored the stabbing and excruciating pain and kept walking, leaving behind bloody footsteps.

Just something random that I had written when I was bored. Enjoy !

My Day In Fiesta Online 2

Stupid kser >.>

Using Magic Burst AOE on Grave Wolf

Mana burn on Fire Vivi

Ice Bolt on Wolf

Fire Bolt on Fire Vivi

Lightning Bolt and Fire Bolt

My mage in Elderine Town

My Day In Fiesta Online

Since I'm playing too much of this game and not blogging at all, I have decided just to post screen shots. Meh, I'm lazy.

Enjoy !

I'm in Apoline Server ^^

My Cute Cleric =D

One of my skills. Pretty, no ? ^^

Fighting against a zombie and a dead fox beside of me xD

Resting in my mushroom ^^

Click to enlarge ^^