Yasmin Ahmad [July 1, 1958 - July 25, 2009]

A few days ago, I went to Audrey's blog and I saw a tribute posted by her for the late Yasmin Ahmad. There were a few videos and as usual, I clicked " play " on all the videos so that they can start loading. Unfortunately, I was sidetracked by the "Up" movie video and I closed Audrey's tab on Firefox, forgetting to watch the Youtube videos' by Yasmin Ahmad.

Today, I woke up and began my daily ritual for checking and reading blogs. I went to Audrey's blog again and loaded the videos. But this time, I was waiting for the videos to load completely.

And I watched.

I'm not ashamed to say that I cried while watching those heart-touching videos.

I remembered watching " Sepet " on one of those Astro channels with chat texts scrolling down constantly. I loved the movie but couldn't understand why the chat texts were saying that the movie is ridiculous and boring. Sure, the ending is a little... shall we say, unique but the way each and every characters managed to touch our heart is truly endearing. Every time, when we go to the movie, we only saw those Action Packed, 3D Animated ( Pixars, excluded ) and Horror movies. Those movies are exciting with lots of smokes, flashes and booms and not to mention, blood, gore and sexual content. They are what I call, instant gratification movie. You get what you want. Excellent graphic and sound effects ( including sexy women with impossibly large boobs, why oh people HAVE to focus so much on boobs ) but little to none thinking and feeling-ish. " Sepet " is a refreshing breath of clean air among those kind of movies. I really want to watch Gubra and Mukhsin but maybe later on.

After watching the videos, I went Wikipedia to search more about her. And I noticed this :

Family (2008) for the Singaporean Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports
Funeral (2009) for the Singaporean Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports

Family and Funeral are two of the titles to the videos. My favorite is Funeral. BUT Singaporean Ministry ?

And one of her movies were censored by the " Malaysian censorship authorities ". This is a quote from Wikipedia.

As Yasmin's second feature film, Sepet, Muallaf was first screened in Singapore instead of Malaysia, where it was shot. However, unlike the former, Muallaf may not be screened in Malaysian cinemas after all since the Malaysian censorship authorities had requested key scenes to be cut, thus rendering the story meaningless.

I'm sure you know what am I thinking. Singapore is more supportive of Yasmin Ahmad than Malaysia, her country of birth. This is extremely shameful ( not really an appropriate word ) to me as a Malaysian.

Rest in peace, Yasmin Ahmad.

Teva's Tear Part 2

“ Adryan, my dear, wake up. “

Adryan stirred slightly, his mind floating aimlessly. He tried to open his eyes but the bright light blinded him. He squint his eyes against the light and saw a blurry figure in front of him. The place on his neck where the fighter struck didn’t hurt him anymore.

“ Sairin, where are we ? ”

“ Dearie, just stay still and rest. I’ll bring you some hot broth in a moment.”

His vision cleared and he saw an old female cleric at the side of his bed. His memories flooded into him and he remembered everything that had happened.

“ Where’s Sairin ? Where is she ?”

The old cleric looked sadly at him and said, “ We managed to revive you but Sairin was too long gone. We were too late. “

Adyran turned his face away from her and wept silently. Hot tears were splashing on the bed sheets. Agonizing pain and despair clawed from within his chest. His breath came in gasps. He felt a deep hole of darkness in his heart. He was supposed to protect Sairin and he failed. Now, she’s gone forever and he’s still alive.

I don’t deserve to be alive. I want to die and be with Sairin.

Suddenly, he felt a firm hand grabbing his shoulder.

“ Adyran, be strong. Sairin maybe be gone from us but she will never be gone from our heart. Have courage and remember that. “

“ WHY do you care ? You don’t even know her, “ sneered Adyran angrily. He glanced at the old cleric with rage. “ I don’t need your comfort. She’s dead… She’s dead forever… I don’t care about anything, anymore. “

“ I do care. She was my best apprentice. If you won’t be strong for yourself, at least be strong for your daughter, “ said the cleric as she walked wearily away, leaving him alone in the room. The room darkened as dawn approaches.

My daughter… She looks exactly like Sairin…

His heart lurched suddenly in pain. He tried to control the pain that is trapped within him. Little by little, the pain dulled. But, the sadness in his heart will never be cured. He is not whole anymore. He will never be whole again.

“ Daddy ? “ A timid voice came across the room.

Adyran turned his head toward the door and saw a pale white face looking at him.

Rainna…my daughter…The old woman was right. I have to be strong for my daughter. I can’t wallow in self pity.

“ Rainna, come. Daddy is here, “ said Adyran, trying to force himself to smile but his face can’t seem to work properly.

The child ran into the room, her short black hair reflecting the light of the dying sun. Her dress flapped softly as she lifted her light and small body onto the bed and sat beside Adryan. She turned her pale face toward her father and said, “ Daddy, where’s mother ? “

“ She’s…she’s not with us anymore, “ said Adyran with a sea of sorrow in his voice.

The child nodded sadly but knowingly. Without a word, she raised her arms up and hugged her father, her arms not quite reaching his back. A tear fell from her eyes and then down her cold cheek. Adyran hugged his daughter silently. Together, they are united in sorrow of the death of their loved one.

I love you, Sairin.


Late night scribble. A tad shorter.

Teva's Tear

Brilliant lights flashed and crackled with destructive power but Adyran managed to dodge them skillfully. He has in his hands, beautiful but deadly bow made from willow which was an inheritance from his father, a famous bowman known for his accuracy and stealth.

“ Is that the best you can do, mage ?” as he dodged a few more spells while taunting the mage who aimed the spells at him.

The mage gnashed his teeth in anger and sent a blast of fire at Adyran but he missed again.

“ Hah, missed again ! You are really a useless mage,” taunted Adyran and he shots a barrage of arrows at the mage.

The mage tried to back away from the arrow but his back was against the solid grey wall of the cave. One by one, the arrows penetrated into the mage. The mage’s eyes widened in shock and pain as fresh red blood spurted out from his wounds. Soon, he collapsed into a heap on the ground, the blood pooling underneath him.

Adyran looks away from the mage’s body without remorse. This is war and there is no time for guilt. The death of this mage will not be a loss to the enemy. The enemy has thousands and thousands under his command.

“ Adyran, look out !”

Adyran leaps away in time as an arrow flies through the air and landed in the ground beside him.

“ Thanks Sairin. That was a close one,” grinned Adyran while giving her the thumbs up.

Sairin gave Adyran a weary smile and casts a healing spell on one of their injured members. The wound on the leg of the injured mage glowed and faded away as she completes the spell. The mage stood up gingerly and tested his weight on his leg.

“ I think it’s all better now. Thank you, Sairin. I was careless when I went against the fighter. I lost my balance and he slashed my leg with his axe. Luckily, Adyran managed to kill him before he made me into mince pie,” grimaced the mage, Qwan.

Sairin punched his shoulder playfully and replied, “ It’s my job to heal, cure and revive. Now, get on with the fight and win the battle.”

“ I will win the battle for you, Sairin. You’re our best cleric !” Qwan ran off to help a fellow fighter who was struggling to kill an enemy archer.

Adyran’s heart swelled with pride. Sairin, his wife, is one of the best cleric in the land. Her knowledge of healing and curing are vast and she’s an experienced cleric. Her clerical skills are unrivaled. She can heal, restore, cure and buff you before you could say, “Buff please.” They are under good care as long as she’s their cleric.

The battle continued for another hour. The numbers of the enemy are dwindling but the enemy still outnumbered them by the hundreds. However, Adyran and his comrades are holding well so far. They are among the best of each of their classes. They have to resist the onslaught of the enemy for as long as they can until more reinforcement from the city arrived. With the reinforcement, they could easily defeat the enemy.

Suddenly, the Arch Mage of the enemy shouted, “ Kill the cleric. Kill her and we shall obliterate them easily. “

The long staff with a dark gem of the Arch Mage pointed towards Sairin. The enemy charged towards Sairin under the order of the Arch Mage. Sairin casted a healing spell on a fighter, her brows tight in concentration, oblivious to the fact the she is now the main target of the enemy.

“ Sairin, get away from there ! ” shouted Adyran hoarsely. He ran towards Sairin, trying to protect her from the horde of enemy charging toward her with all the intent of killing her, shooting arrow after arrow at the enemy. Only a few of the enemy were killed and the rest of them surged towards Sairin like an unstoppable wave.

Sairin opened her eyes in shock as the ground before her was struck and blackened by spells and arrows from the enemy. She quickly casts a shield of invincibility and sprinted away in bid to outrun the enemy. Arrows and spells struck her shield with tremendous force but the shield is still intact and whole, protecting her from harm.

“ Everyone protect Sairin !” Adyran shouted while trying to take down as many of the enemy as he can with his arrows. But his comrades are too far away to hear him. Only Qwan managed to hear him over the sounds of battle, the cries of pain and suffering from the injured.

Qwan casted a spell in front of the enemy. A pool of angry bright-red burning fire appeared on the ground. Some of the enemy withered and die in agony, their body turning into grey ashes.

“ May you burn forever in he-,” Qwan stopped in mid-sentence as a deadly spell struck his chest and he crumpled to the ground.

“ Qwan ! ” cried Sairin in despair. Suddenly, her shield flickered once, then twice and died. Her energy is drained from the effort to keep the shield up. She doesn’t have energy to recast the shield again.

An arrow struck Sairin’s shoulder and she stumbled in pain. Before Adyran could shout a warning, she was thrown backwards onto a rock by a blasting spell. Her back struck against the rock with force and she slided down the rock onto the ground, shuddering in pain. Her back is laid on the ground with a strange angle. Suddenly, she lay still, not moving anymore.

“ Sairin, nooooo !” Adyran cried. He scrambled to where Sairin’s body laid, not caring that the enemy are nearing him. He cradled Sairin in his arms, shaking her as if he was trying to rouse her from sleep. But her body only shook limply without life. Her once bright and inquisitive eyes are extinguished forever.

“ I’ll kill you ! I’ll kill you all ! “ screamed Adyran in blind rage while hugging Sairin’s body tightly against his chest. The enemy only laughed cruelly as they surrounded Adyran. A fighter raised his sword high, aiming for Adyran’s unprotected and exposed neck.

Adyran felt a sharp pain on his neck and then dullness as he collapses beside Sairin’s body. He could feel his warm blood spilling across his chest and soaking the ground.

Sairin, I’m coming to join you, he thought as he sank into comforting darkness.


Another late night scribble.